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The Big Bang - Destiner Press Topics | |
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"So the evening and the morning
(primary creation of the elements, division of light from darkness) were the first day… the evening and the
morning (separation of water and sky) were the second day… the evening and the
morning (separation of earth and sea, vegetation) were the third day… the evening and the
morning (sun, moon, stars) were the fourth day… the evening and
the morning (fish, reptiles, birds) were the fifth day… the evening and the
morning (insects, animals, man) were the sixth day…" (Genesis 1:5-31) "But the seventh day is the Sabbath of
the LORD your God. In it you shall do no work…for in six days the LORD
made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and
rested the seventh day." (Exodus 20:10,11) The Big Bang The Reader's Undigest condensed version, Peter Dunstan, 2008. In the beginning there was a big bang. Man, was that ever a blast! No wait, maybe it was a big unbang, a humongous tubular infarction (that’s Latin, so it sounds doctoral and academic, meaning “to cram full with”), a galactic implosion followed by the overstuffed celestial haggis (that’s Scottish for “animal tummy filled with innards”) exploding all over the place. I can't remember all that clearly, mainly because I wasn't there, but something collapsed in on itself so badly it just had to get out fast, and the zipper burst big time. It was one of those gigantic, self-induced reflux things, a majestically painful reversing unburp of indigestion that keeps the universe recycling on the wheel of rebirth, like a massive clock hand that comes around full circle and wallops itself from behind. That's enough to make anything flatulent. And then came stuff, don't ask me where
from, probably from unstuff. And because of the magnitude and force of the
universal burp, the stuff broke up into lots of pieces, but for some
reason they were all still attracted to each other, the big bits really
having an immense pull on the small bits, and so it seemed like a good
idea if they partied, you know, like hung around and gyrated with each
other, trying not to contemplate the inevitable crash and burn when they
all ran out of steam and piled back into the mother of all haggises again. In the meantime, on one of these tiny
bits of stuff, something incredible happened. Well the whole thing is
unbelievable really, but if you’re still with me you’ll love this
part. This seemingly inconsequential sideshow ball of stuff had its own little bit of indigestion, gave off
some gas, which formed into vapor clouds, which produced droplets of ungas,
which fell back on the stuff, followed by a crackerjack thunderbolt, and
lo and behold, there was a jelly bean of an amoeba. Then the amoeba itself
had a bout of micro-indigestion and made a few more of itself to keep it
company. The only problem was that there was nothing to eat, except each
other. So they all died out. After this the amoeba began to grow
arms. Or maybe it was legs;
it’s hard to tell. They needed to get around, you see, even though they
didn’t know where to go, so they thought some limbs would be useful.
Well actually they didn’t really think about it, because they had no
brains at all. Anyway, pretty soon they got the hang of motion and found some
plants they could live on. But the plants had created themselves way to
early. They had no insects to pollinate them. So they all died out. Later,
the plants came back thoroughly confused by gravity, heat and light; they
began growing with their roots sticking up in the air and their leaves
burrowing underground. But eventually they sorted out which way was up,
and taught their seeds how to obey the three laws of thermobotanics. Following
this, some reptiles turned up, no idea where from, and started eating the
plants. Then some of them thought it would be a better idea to eat each
other. So the ones that were getting eaten got fed up and decided to try
to grow wings. Well they didn’t really decide because they had brains
the size of peanuts. They just ran around flapping their arms, hoping like
crazy that something might happen, like they would change their genetic
code by sheer force of pea-brained willpower, grow feathers, lose ninety
per cent of their weight and take off. But this lofty plan had a critical
flaw. It needed millions of years, and the meativores only needed a long
weekend to eat all the flapping veggiebores. After that came the great
dinnersaurus famine. So they all died out. Next, some hoofy-horny creatures came along from somewhere, but they found that the plants had grown too high for them to eat the leaves. So they all died out. After this they grew longer necks in order to reach the leaves, although they got pretty hungry in the meantime because that took a million years, and then they started fattening up. This attracted the big cats, which started sneaking up on them and chasing them for sport. So the hoofy-hornies grew longer legs to get away. So the big cats grew longer legs to catch up. So the hoofy-hornies gave themselves stripes and spots to hide better amongst the plants. So the big cats gave themselves stripes and spots so that they could sneak up on them more easily. Pretty soon the big cats ate all the hoofy-hornies, and then there was nothing left. So they all died out. Next came the hard-shellers. These were teenage mutant kneejerk turtles that had malformed due to a reaction to radiation, mainly from watching way too much television, so their backbones had grown outside their bodies to protect them from further damaging emissions. Also, in an attempt to escape the sun's rays, they opted to live in the sea. At first they were too light and floated around like corks and starved. Then they made themselves too heavy and sank to the bottom and drowned. Finally, after a million years, they got their body weight just right, but they still had to come up for air lots of times, and, when they laid their eggs, hungry mouths from the deep simply gobbled them up. So they all died out. After this they thought it would be better to hide their eggs on the land where they would be safe. But
when they hatched, the fish-cat-whisker-tooths and long-leg-sticky-beaks were waiting for them
right at the shoreline. So the athletic ones that hatched first found not
only that their shells were not yet hardened but also that they were the first
delicious item on the luncheon menu. This became known as the "suicidal of the fittest."
The puny
laggards that slept in and crawled out last waddled slowly down to the sea
and swam away because the feasters were too glutted to eat another morsel. This became known as
the "survival of the flimsiest." The problem was that they became more and
more scrawny with each generation. So they all died out. After this they decided to lay their eggs only when it was dark, and teach them
to hatch only at night. Then came the birds. There was a popular rumor for a while that these were fish that just couldn’t help themselves and came snapping and crackling out of a hot, volcanic, salty sea like popcorn on a spree, running around tippy-toe on their fins until they fooled their DNA into growing some feet, and doing a whole lot of weight lifting and aerobic exercises until they got the hang of being heavier and breathing out of water. But this would have taken a million years, and they would have all died out. So now we know better; it was either a chicken or an egg that came from the land. Not sure whether
it was the bird or the egg first. Maybe the primal egg was a leftover in
the doggy bag of the previous cosmos that got super-condensed,
and the gigantic burp sort of reincarnated it by spewing it back out into
freezing space where it was caught in orbit for a while, then warmed up
nicely as it entered the atmosphere and fell into a tree, hatched, reared itself and made a nest far above the dangerous meativores below. Then it made more eggs,
and they turned into baby birds that had no idea why they lived in a high
rise, or that they were supposed to fly, so when they left home they hit
the ground pretty hard. So they all died out. After
this they set up some serious flight training programs. Soon the birds
were launching as fast as Windows utilities and multiplying like crazy, on
account of their being able to easily feast on the fruit in the trees,
since those tall plants had decided to put out fruit in order to reproduce
themselves too. And this was going along pretty well until the birds
started pooping on the heads of the two-legged creatures that appeared in
the forest below. Until then, the two-leggers had been happy to simply chew
the tubers they had dug out of the dirt, and they walked with such a sorry
stoop that they never looked up anyway. Well, all that changed when the
tubers ran out and the
poop came down and hit the royal fan (the palm leaf that the chief two-legger
was using to keep cool). The whole tribe got really angry, and very inventive, making bows and arrows to shoot and eat the birds, and climbing
the trees to eat the eggs, and then picking the fruit when the eggs were
gone, after which there was nothing left to eat. So they all died out. And
then the two-leggers thought (yes they really thought, because they
had grown brains the size of apricots that were capable of multi-tasking)
that it would be better to capture the birds and bring them down to earth. So they
snared them in nets and made them grow smaller wings so they could not get
away, keeping them on the ground where they could easily be picked up and
eaten. Then, a two-legger genius had a stroke and put an idea to work,
organizing the birds in sheltered pens, feeding them plant fruit seeds in
regular portions, which caused them to involuntarily generate tasty
eggs every day. And so began the great agrifarma era, rapidly followed in sequence by the culinostic phase (when the two-leggers discovered that fire made the birds and eggs even tastier), the sacriblessic advancement (when they decreed that a holy two-legger wearing a funny hat or collar could sanctify the birds and make them proliferate even faster), the motovendo revolution (after they invented and mass-produced the wheel that allowed them to truck birds and eggs back and forth to each other in trade), and finally the technomoola age (when the whole on-demand process could be streamlined and controlled by a hand-held abacus). And that is pretty well where we are at today…all the way from the big bang to the bottom line. Like, awesome, dude! Thus the final period of reason and knowledge eclipsed the previous epochs of superstition, when gullible two-leggers listened intently as the funny collared ones divined things from lizard entrails and the swelling pregnancy of the moon as it got all gibbous and waxy. Now they know better; all they need to do is take a peek in the daily paper to see what the stars above have in store, while the ones with really big spyglasses can keep regular tabs on the expansions and contractions of the big picture, that heaving morass of galactic maternity. Sometimes they gather together in annual feasts and make reverent speeches to (you guessed it) a little haggis, in the vain hope that they might soothe that unthinkable fear of getting sucked back into the mother haggis. As if. Didn't you know that everything in the chain eventually ends up squished in the black hole of the bigger belly that is out to get it? Of course you did; you knew that all along. *
* * * * * * Sound laughable reader? Well it is…and it isn’t. It was written in jest after reflecting on some inane statements that a Christian elder once said to me in defense of evolution. The vast majority of people in the world, including so-called scientists, professors, priests and politicians believe in this utterly unscientific “theory” lock, stock and barrel. And they teach it to children. It is, quite literally, incredible. Ever looked at a car and thought that it might have designed and manufactured itself? I mean, that somehow it accidentally prepared and then assembled all its working parts in exactly the right place so that when self-refined petroleum spouted out of the earth and, bingo, went right into the gas tank, it turned on its own ignition and took off. How did it manage to do that, when one tiny little thing out of place would mean it could not possibly succeed? It’s ludicrous. So is the “theory” of evolution. It would not matter how many billions of years were vainly allotted to sitting around and waiting for it to happen. Even with the outside interference and direction of a designer, it is a trillion times more complicated to create a common snail than an automobile. So try to imagine what is involved in making a working world, where the rays from distant stars are arriving now, not light years later, and rivers are already set in their initial grooves, and birds must know how to fly first time from cliff nests; the mathematical calculations and the power required are way beyond our comprehension. The LORD decreed and accomplished a six-day creation, or to be more accurate, an instantaneous creation followed by six days of “bringing forth” the species, each generated “according to its kind,” with its reproducing seed already within it, and each of those six days had one “evening and morning.” For this same reason the LORD specified that his elect should work six days and rest on a seventh, the exact period of time that He chose to bring forth and shape all things from the base matter he had initially created in a single, indivisible, atomic finger snap. The LORD lives in the eternal realm, where a day may just as well be a thousand years, but He created the world in time, which is itself one of His creations. Indeed, He created time and the length of a day before setting the sun and moon in their allotted place. (Genesis 1) In time, a day includes one morning and one evening, not thousands of them, and we measure it as 24 hours long, one revolution of the earth. Creation did not occur in days lasting the equivalent of six thousand days or six thousand years or six billion years. Neither did the earth revolve a thousand times more slowly than now. If a revolution were even one year long, let alone a thousand, then all plant and animal life would have been scorched from the earth. And how about insects being created two days after plants? If that occupied two of these ridiculously long days, then plants requiring insects for pollination would have died out. And yet countless Christians propose this interminably "long day theory" or "theistic evolution" as truth. As if the Living God had to experiment in a laboratory for eons trying to perfect a finished product because He could not get it right the first time! What a backhanded insult! They vainly adhere to this notion because they seek to slide around the plain meaning of the Word and please the majority opinion of man, hence they will be no better off than atheists or devotees of other evolutionary faiths when the day of wrath against unbelief comes. In fact they will be worse off, because they pay lip-service to the LORD (or more accurately to the puny Baal that they imagine is Lord) while clinging firmly to paganism, and that ruse of having a foot in both camps is a defining characteristic of Christians from their very first Church Councils onwards. (see: The Truth Which Sets Free for the fully referenced historical details of this development from the beginning to the present day) Some will even tell you, in their well-practiced spiel, that this is “not a doctrine necessary for salvation,” as though they could decree what the LORD will accept as faith. That is empty, sugar-coated, religious garbage, reader. Believing in the Word of God, delighting in its storehouse of treasures and holding fast to its core truths is absolutely essential for anyone hoping to arrive at the right place. This is not some take-it-or-leave-it, really-does-not matter principle. Nor does it belong in the realm of the silly bumper sticker theology portrayed by a fish (that pagan sign of Pisces so beloved by Christians) swallowing Darwin or the other way around. (see: The Dark Powers That Bind, Chapter 3 for the origin of this fish fetish) It is a pivotal question of life or death, a telltale indicator of the state of the faith or unbelief that exists in the heart of each and every individual on earth. The
Word of God tells us that we ourselves came from the creation of a single
pair, the first man,
Adam, (Genesis 5:1-2; 1 Corinthians 15:45-47) and first woman
without whom the
man
would have been alone (Genesis 2:18) and whose name, Eve, literally
means "the
mother of all human
life" (Genesis 3:20), and that later the earth was re-populated
through just eight of
their descendants, the survivors
of the Flood.
(Genesis 9:1; 10:32)
Death entered the world through the failure of the first man and
woman
(Genesis 2:17; Romans 5:12); it was not there beforehand in endless generations of semi-developed,
ape-like creatures perishing
over millions of years,
or any other half-baked "missing links" for which the fossils
cannot be found. And there should be trillions of them if this
theory had a shred of scientific truth. There was no evolution of the
species, only minor adaptations confined within each classification; dogs did
not come from cats, or horses from dogs, or men from monkeys; they were created side by side.
"God gives it (flesh) a body as he has chosen,
and to each kind of seed its own body. For not all flesh is alike, there
is one kind for men, another for animals, another for birds, another for
fish." (1 Corinthians 15:38,39) The Word of God outlines exactly how we came into being,
how long it took, where we are headed, and most important, why it
absolutely had to happen this way, and this way only. If you
are ready to understand this, then
now is the time to read God
& Evil in The Truth Which Sets Free on this website. Imagining that something is fantastically old (and therefore dating it that way) or has always been there simply because it happens to be there right now is a fallacious and deadly assumption (as wrong as believing that the bread which Christ created instantaneously to feed thousands must have previously gone through a long process of grain planting, growth, harvest, grinding and baking). It leads to faith in (and also worship of) the created thing instead of the Creator, an error that you can hear declared every time someone refers to Mother Nature or Mother Earth. The widespread belief that we are little more than chemical accidents inhabiting a wobbly ball spinning through space toward an inevitable rendezvous with the sun, with each of us being no more than a parcel of chromosomes evolved from previous mixed bags of cells, is one of the clear portents that we are entering the final stage of history. Men and women think nothing of dismissing God and yet desire to play God, messing with the genetics that they could not create in the first place but are all too eager to clone and experiment upon. Likewise a growing horde of fanatics seeks the menacing power to split the basic elements in acquiring nuclear weapons, which they will surely use, thinking their “god” will destroy their ideological enemies but somehow spare themselves. Imagining that they will not be called to account, homosexual proponents advance their perverse mono-sapiens agenda toward its doom, parading it through every media outlet and justifying their physical unions at every government level. (see: Sodom and Tomorrow on this website for the ominous Old and New Testament scriptures concerning this subject) Others are even condoning sex with animals. Well, why not, if you believe them to be your former relatives? We are being bombarded and urged to swallow this philosophical offal, like the farmers who fed their domesticated and unsuspecting cattle with their own guts and brains and caused them to turn into mad, quivering wrecks that had to be destroyed. No, reader, there is a terrible price to be paid for ignoring (or as the apostle Peter so aptly put it, being “willing ignorant” about) the truth of man’s origin and destiny. And the dawn of that great reckoning is much closer than you may think, a big bang indeed, a great and terrible blast (great for some, terrible for most) that will herald the end to all mankind's vain speculations and usher in a new genesis for those few who patiently await it.
"In the last days scoffers will come...They will say, 'Where is this coming' he promised? Ever since our fathers died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation.' But they willingly ignore that long ago by
the Word of God the heavens existed and the earth was formed out of water and by water. By these waters also the world of that time was deluged and destroyed. By the same
Word the present heavens and earth are reserved for fire, being kept for the day of judgment and destruction of ungodly men... the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare...But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness." (2 Peter 3:3-13)
"For since by man came death, by Man
also came the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, even so
all in Christ shall be made alive. But each one in his own order: Christ
the first fruit, afterward those who are Christ’s at His coming. Then
comes the End, when He delivers the kingdom to God the Father, when He
puts an end to all rule and all authority and power. For He must reign
till He has put all enemies under His feet. The last enemy that will be
destroyed is death." (1 Corinthians 15:21-26) "For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened." (Romans 1:18-21)
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"By the word of the LORD the heavens were made,
and all the host of them by the breath of His mouth.
He gathers the waters of the sea together as a heap; He lays up the deep in storehouses. Let all the earth fear the LORD;
let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of Him. For He spoke, and it was done; He
commanded, and it stood fast."
(Psalm 33:6-9)
